"Mommy"

I came home tonight after leaving her with the sitter Christina. Gavin is in LA and I have been with this little girl in this apartment round the clock, because its been so cold. Oh, and I had a migraine the other day, which I haven't had in 15 years. Eye spots and vomiting and sensitivity to light, the whole nine. Anyway, lets just say I desperately needed a break. I tooled around the city, took in a movie, had tea all by myself, anonymous, alone. Heaven. I bounded up the stairs at 8pm, knowing she was getting ready for bed, so I hustled because I didn't want the sitter to have a cranky nightmare on her hands. I walked in and she was surprised to see me, but thrilled as I was hoping. She ran over to me in her almost-too small green froggy onesie and pointed to my shoulder and said; "mommy." I am tearing up right now as I type this. I have waited my whole life for this, and I didn't even really know. I thought I wanted to go to Brown, or write a book, or be rich, have better hair, or a better body, or whiter teeth, or know more artists, or live in a loft, or summer in France but no. This is light years better than anyone could have conveyed to me in words. I just realized now, that this is the name I've always wanted to be called. I feel complete.

Jamaican Morning Buns

We went to Jamaica on a whim for Christmas this year. I googled "family resort carribean" and this joint Pebbles came up first. Major selling point, nanny incuded in the price. All inclusive booze, snacks, meals, transport, lodging, babysitter all day long.
It was actually the most relaxed and rested I have felt since this squirt was born. Wanna read Atonement or Among the Thugs by the pool all day long? No problem mon! Wanna spontaneously grab your husband and go snorkling on a coral reef, why, you can do that too. I felt like I was 32 again. I tanned my face without a thought of tomorrow's wrinks. I ate jerk chicken with my fingers and eavesdropped on boring normies with abandon. I actually started to miss this terror every once and again, so I would spy on her while she would play with her nanny. She was always up to no good, just like a munch should.

ummmm, this is awkward...

What's with her face here? She looks like she is about to tell me she loves me like crazy, but she 'aint gonna love me to death.
Latest developments with this child:
She is obsessed with looking at pictures of herself and points to her chest whenever she sees a picture of a baby anywhere in case its her.
She has had several tantrums when she doesn't get her way. Our pediatrician says to just ignore these. He's a controversial French doc who doesn't jive with all parental styles, but he's right up our alley.
The hugs continue, and sweet jesus in heavan was it worth the wait. Several times a day she just drops whatever project she is working on to walk over to me and fall into my arms with her head on my shouler, patting me and sighing. Its. The. Best. It can lift me out of any doldrums, not that there are any, of course.
She loves walking down the street unemcumbered, unhampered, the wind in her hair, the breeze against her cheeks. If I just set her free out the door, she would be at the East River before she looked back.

Baby Jay McCarroll

Doesn't she look FABULOUS!?
She loves to wear hats now, which is a 760 degree turn. Gold berets, turbans, NY Mets caps, rainbow knit rasta caps, the list goes on. She's going to fit in just fine in the family, 'cuz you know we love our Tickle Trunks!*
Hmmm, What else...
She made up her own sign language. She pats her chest and brings you a book, which means "read me a book." I think the patting is derived from me patting my knee and saying "do you want mama to read you a book?" She still doesn't say mama, but is mastering "No, no. no." She says this in a very dramatical 40's movie star way, as if she is watching her DIIIIIAMOND tiara get crushed under a bus. "Noooooo, nooooo, noooo." Something like that
Oh! SHE HUGS. This is the best development, by far. Although they are unpredictable and kind of weak. She will rest her head on my knee and sort of pat it and sigh. Its pretty divine. Or if you beg her she will run into your arms and put her little sausage limbs around your neck. As predicted, water works ensue. Its true what Valentina told me, although I have no way to predict the future-this age, 1 year plus is magic. Bliss, really. Sometimes I just think how much I love being her mother. I love taking her to library story hours and planing our days adventures together. Of course, other times I think, wow. I just want to take a shower without some small woman screaming outside the door like I left her at the orphanage with Mrs. Hannigan.

*Tickle Trunk, noun. A box in one's home filled with various wigs, hats and costumes to be used spontaneously when silly hour approaches.

Just a Quick One

We have both shirked our Soph photo blog duties as of late. So here's a quick snap for family near and far.
She's really turning into a little lady! She basically saunters around the apartment now as if it 'aint no thang.
She points to the window when she hears dogs barking outside and says "A Da." She still says "Oh wow" when something impressive warrents it. Oh! The other day at Grand Street playground she just scooched right up the kiddy slide backwards and pushed herself down, screaming with joy the whole way. Then she hopped off, WALKED to the steps back up the jungle gym to do it all over again. She is brave and silly and ridiculous. **Also, lately she also has been sleeping 8:30 to 8:00am STRAIGHT. Now I jinxed it of course, but I mean, that is the dream. I remember when four hours in a row was a banner day here at the McInneses.

Lovely Day

We went into the city to Thomkins Square Park to hear some bands play. Amy (Lyla's momma) bought these protective headphones for Soph before we went to McCarren Park Pool Party concerts this summer. She had the inside scoop 'cuz Lyla's daddy Syd is a Rock and Roller. I think I forget to send a thank you note I just realized! Belated thanks for such a thoughtful and useful gift guys!
Scrunchers was mad tired here. She still takes two naps a day (she's taking her morning one now, ergo blogging) and this was two hours past. She gets so lazy she flops in my arms. It's kind of worth it to wear her out so I can ALMOST cuddle her. She isn't yet at the stage where she shows us affection really. I once tied a scarf on my head because she would try and rip it off and it felt like a hug as her arms wrapped around my neck. Wow. That sounds really pathetic on my part. Anyhoo, hugs and smooches are on the horizon. I think Gavin is going to combust. Stay tuned...

This is a Joey

Sometimes we call Soph a JOEY when she wears a baseball cap. This is a Mets cap I bought for her friend Feyd's 1st B-day.
A few of her pals are turning the big Oh-1 this year, so her calendar has been very packed. Typical New Yorker. That was one of my pet peeves when I was "in the mix." especially working in PR. When you would see people out at "events" and ask how they were it was eye-roll, whine; "I've been soooo busy." over and over. I mean, its true I'm sure, but stop saying it like you have been curing hemmoroids. You've been going to parties for free booze and shopping every weekend!
I digress....here is Soph in all her JOEY glory. She also had a b-day, recently and if I was a decent god-fearing blogger I would have a lovely entry concerning that, but I am terrible and haven't been feeling an attack of the sillies in a few weeks, and thats really when I do my best blogging. So this one's for you, Kyle in Korea. Hey-Is it true that mourners there wear white and not black? How weird!